Friday, September 24, 2010

SMALL AND QUIET " I MISS IT "

Last night we were watching a movie " NELL" acted by Jodie Foster and Liam Nison with his late beloved wife.There was a simple statement that Jodie as " Nell "  was stating at the court during the last part of the movie were she tried to defend hersef. Nell told the witnesses. Don't worry about Nell. She said you are used to "big" like big things, big world (as i understood it ), Nell used to small like small place,small house, live just by herself and she is used to it.You are used to being loud,Nell is used to being " quiet " like a quiet place (as i understood it ), in short " we miss quietness, and small things  in our lives ".This woman lived somewhere in the mountain of North Carolina " in the wild ". Quite a distance, there's only a small community.The movie was heart warming,sentimental,a life learning  for me, but the two words at the last part which i was struck about : small and quiet.She won the case and moved back to her own small place and after 5 years, Liam and her wife with their little daughter this time visited her and i found out that evenually she found a real home,place,friends, and most of all she learned to speak (watch her talk with the little girl at the end part).

It's true somehow, or maybe that sometimes things get complicated because a person use to think big,big,big,things, like big house,big salary,big place,big community,big car,and people end up broke in many areas or aspects in life. Nell live a lifestyle which is the opposite around which for me I never knew, she was able to cope it up despite her language or different kind of language (which they guess she might be a victim of some kind of violence at first but at the end they found out that she was scared of going out to the real world because her mother used to read her a story about guardian angel and devilish kind of world, so she got stuck in one place and she could hardly let go off  her twin sister that died too long ago).after that she simple say  " quiet " word,  where I miss so much here in the States.Americahas a lot to offer yet it drives you away from the real beauty of life if you let the offers control you,it's a fast forward place...I cried, because I knew that it qiuetness you will hear God's voice, you will see the beauty of  life in quietness.

So, this morning after a I waxed our floor,made my morning coffee, read a christian book for my morning inspiration : GOD'S ROAD MAP FOR MOMS...I read about  forgiveness and letting go of the past.Jodie in the movie,there was a scene where she let go off her sister , it was her missingness of a lost twin sister.It was hard for her to let go,tears were in her eyes.After she let go off her past,the following day which was the court hearing that's when shes " able"  stood up, talked, fight for herself, and defend her friends (Liam and natasha).I never knew in my  morning coffee table, I would also be reading about forgiveness and letting go.when Jodie let go of her past, she gained strength and courage for  herself where she let the people knew that she is a survivor,she survive of what happened to her life and even her own life people doesn't understood it,but thats what  her life is all about.Her life was normal for her if you would know her well and understand her own distinct and unique language.

My resolution for myself today, in my coffee table is that, Lord, I will try to live a " small " amount of lifestyle like i dont need a lot of things, like women like a lot of bags,shoes, lots of make ups,and more, and Lord , i don't need to have a lot of activities I will involve myself and my kids for what is just enough and considerable in our schedule.Small yet the outcome is big progress.Then, quietness. I should end my day earlier or start my day earlier (either way ), so I can spend " quiet " time with my God, because thats what the outside world is lacking this time.The world i full of noise, and full of big things absorb in their minds, which sometimes, it will just end our lives tired, burned out, deppressed, and losing what we invest in. A person will forget  the beauty of " small things " and most of all " quietness " in life.I do.